I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My pussy is not your playground.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
