youre lurking in front of me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
