he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
