talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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