I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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