Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize