I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
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i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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