I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
