There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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