My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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