its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
