Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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