Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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