I wish my penis had an off switch
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
