i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
