Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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