i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
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