awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
