covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
