Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
