Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ladies don't puke and tell
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
