i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
