She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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