Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Let's paint friendship bongs
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
