Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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