I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
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I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
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I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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