I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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