Whod you bang
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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