I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You are a genius and a whore.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
