The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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