There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Are my feet made of real feet?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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