i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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