dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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