By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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