brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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