I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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