well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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