I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
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I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
so much tequila, so little girl.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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