I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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