I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
be right there i have to get my cape
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
