break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
