Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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