Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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