It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
