I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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