one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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