You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
