mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
