What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
