i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
