That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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