i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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