Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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