Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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