If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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