Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
