I just saw a hot homeless man
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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