I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
